Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
