I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
