Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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