How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize