I don't think brook has ever known best
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
