Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
