I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
