quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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