I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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