with your own penis?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
