Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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