Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

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(512): View more from Texas

i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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(815): View more from Illinois

i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

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(971): View more from Oregon

Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??

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(409): View more from Texas

Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?

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(209): View more from California

You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures

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