Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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  (716): Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her http://tfl.nu/fzg2
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (3652)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

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  (703): I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college. http://tfl.nu/rorl
  Replies (29) Good night (3832) Bad night (1333)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs

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  (847): it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs http://tfl.nu/alw1
  Replies (14) Good night (3835) Bad night (706)
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  (516): View more from New York

  shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.

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  (516): shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/hrom
  Replies (11) Good night (1172) Bad night (3229)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time

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  (314): You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time http://tfl.nu/thrg
  Replies (17) Good night (2145) Bad night (3040)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

  (518): View more from New York

  I am in love with you.

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  (203): Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you. http://tfl.nu/yy5e
  Replies (5) Good night (5195) Bad night (953)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.

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  (804): I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday. http://tfl.nu/6jwi
  Replies (4) Good night (2689) Bad night (870)
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  (714): View more from California

  He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.

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  (714): He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xpcu
  Replies (8) Good night (2533) Bad night (916)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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  (860): Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress? http://tfl.nu/gpyt
  Replies (9) Good night (1658) Bad night (564)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.

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  (940): Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book. http://tfl.nu/boxy
  Replies (15) Good night (3140) Bad night (533)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette

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  (215): fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette http://tfl.nu/iod4
  Replies (6) Good night (1198) Bad night (490)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.

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  (810): I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you. http://tfl.nu/2b90
  Replies (8) Good night (507) Bad night (1787)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How drunk is she?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her

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  (612): How drunk is she? (1-612): She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her http://tfl.nu/dk7m
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (270)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.

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  (616): Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did. (616): So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that. http://tfl.nu/as93
  Replies (0) Good night (395) Bad night (528)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.

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  (724): Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots. http://tfl.nu/ffvf
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (323)

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