Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.

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  (917): i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night. http://tfl.nu/z30p
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (3886)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice

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  (469): There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice http://tfl.nu/r0ns
  Replies (30) Good night (2274) Bad night (1050)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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  (804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets. http://tfl.nu/gp9t
  Replies (21) Good night (8395) Bad night (1300)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.

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  (425): Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older. http://tfl.nu/u48g
  Replies (3) Good night (5259) Bad night (926)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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  (912): His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/9x22
  Replies (21) Good night (987) Bad night (5574)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

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  (610): At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wzxh
  Replies (12) Good night (1178) Bad night (5323)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face

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  (952): like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face http://tfl.nu/ozvq
  Replies (11) Good night (840) Bad night (1923)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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  (330): No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/d0l1
  Replies (3) Good night (2132) Bad night (763)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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  (309): You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion... http://tfl.nu/v1ex
  Replies (3) Good night (2754) Bad night (723)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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  (310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (554)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

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  (506): there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits http://tfl.nu/dkmo
  Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (1159)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.

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  (360): I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job. http://tfl.nu/8nby
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (351)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.

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  (724): You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great. http://tfl.nu/7v6n
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (374)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!

  (281): View more from Texas

  All I did was send my mom an ecard

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  (713): Body shots with my MILFs MILF!! (281): All I did was send my mom an ecard http://tfl.nu/9e20
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (333)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever

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  (613): I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere (514): Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever http://tfl.nu/1t8i
  Replies (6) Good night (1235) Bad night (349)

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