you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.