So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.