shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"