Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves

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(609): View more from New Jersey

my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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(817): View more from Texas

despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds

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(817): View more from Texas

Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit

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(586): View more from Michigan

on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Update: He still has devil magic genitals.

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