This is not my ceiling
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone