Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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  (443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y
  Replies (11) Good night (2140) Bad night (663)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You only like me because I'm a challenge

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You already blew me

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  (631): You only like me because I'm a challenge (201): You already blew me http://tfl.nu/s47q
  Replies (21) Good night (6233) Bad night (1393)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

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  (913): sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train. http://tfl.nu/vfk6
  Replies (24) Good night (11756) Bad night (1427)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.

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  (617): Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/0aty
  Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (2199)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar

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  (812): I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar http://tfl.nu/fo8u
  Replies (2) Good night (2136) Bad night (1038)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.

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  (859): He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants. http://tfl.nu/r14o
  Replies (8) Good night (2486) Bad night (769)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.

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  (303): I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/b02w
  Replies (10) Good night (1178) Bad night (857)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples

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  (401): Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples http://tfl.nu/s1gx
  Replies (2) Good night (1585) Bad night (554)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

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  (765): His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison. http://tfl.nu/cqq3
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (669)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream

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  (714): Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream http://tfl.nu/g5ns
  Replies (16) Good night (585) Bad night (914)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.

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  (956): He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex. http://tfl.nu/esb3
  Replies (5) Good night (387) Bad night (760)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success

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  (479): Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success http://tfl.nu/iacd
  Replies (0) Good night (1022) Bad night (364)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football

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  (847): But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football http://tfl.nu/c4fc
  Replies (6) Good night (918) Bad night (461)
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  (323): View more from California

  Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.

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  (323): Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney. http://tfl.nu/bmnx
  Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (319)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.

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  (702): In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help. http://tfl.nu/624h
  Replies (3) Good night (255) Bad night (430)

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