using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.