"it" just moved
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
