He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
