just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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