real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
