girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm getting married
To pizza
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
