D3 body, D1 cock
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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