I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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