I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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