I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
