I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
