Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
