I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
