Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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