is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
this will be a night to untag.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
