i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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