She announced her abortion via fbk
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
