So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
