Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Boobs are out for the taking
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
