Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize