she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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