it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
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