Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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