WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
