Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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