You're my little dorito
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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