The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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