Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
