she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
