you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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