even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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