I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So squirting runs in the family.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
