She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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