Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
