just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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