i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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