I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
