youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Two words: blizzard sex
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
