even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize