you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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