This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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