I want to make a zoo with you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
