I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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