Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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