check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
