i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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