ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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